Outpour
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: Co-writer: E. Scribbles - Jealousy is ugly. Love is pure. Can love overcome insecurity when a scarring family secret lies underneath? Can someone even take time to understand to help? Nothing shakes ADA Alex Cabot. Nothing makes her cry. Except this. DISCONTINUED
1. Raining Tears

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 1: Raining Tears**

Olivia had been fine the first year, they'd dated, but since then she'd been increasingly jealous and possessive. At first, Alex tried to get her to talk about why she was behaving differently, but it just caused her to be even worse. Refusing to curb her own behavior unless Olivia told her what was going on, Alex continued to behave as she usually did, and tonight she was out with her friends.

Olivia had insisted on coming out with them, and they had had an argument about what Alex should wear, making Alex pick out the skimpiest bit of clothing she owned. Now they all sat in a club, Alex trying to ignore Olivia as she sipped wine and talked to her friends.

Alex sighed, watching Olivia block her from view as even men she wouldn't be interested in passed by. She took a long sip of her drink, eyeing Olivia suspiciously as she usually did now. "You didn't have to come tonight."

"You mean you would have preferred me to let you go out by yourself wearing that…does it even classify as a dress?"

"Last I checked, yeah, it classified. You used to like it." Olivia's behavior always put her on edge because she never knew when she was going to explode and, with others around, it was dangerous. "Olivia..."

Olivia, seeing a man's eyes moving slowly up Alex's legs, suddenly moved forward, one hand on her leg, the other wrapping around her shoulders as she went to kiss her.

Alex pushed her away, being confident enough to know that while others looked, only Olivia was permitted to touch. "Stop it. Others can look, but you're the only one who ever gets to touch. You know that, Liv. I don't want anybody else." She sighed, muttering under her breath, "God knows why anymore. I could be dating someone - probably anyone - else and be allowed room to breathe."

Olivia sat back a little, looking hurt, her eyes dropping to the floor. "I'm going to get another drink." She stood, her shoulder's squared, unable to stop herself half knocking the man down as she walked past.

She sighed. "I wish I knew what to do about her. If I didn't love her so much, I wouldn't be with her. Just wish I knew what the hell's gotten into her."

The friend sitting closest to her sighed, pulling her away and swapping seats with her so Olivia couldn't sit next to her. "Break up with her. Show her what she's missing. Or ignore her like we all do. Come on, drink up, it's cocktail time! And try to cheer up, it is my birthday, remember? I didn't invite her for a reason."

Alex took a long sip before replying, "If I thought I'd be better without her, I would break up with her, but I can't. She wasn't always like this."

"She's driving us all mad, Alex. Can't you just ignore her? For one night? For me? Please?" From the bar, Olivia was watching them, and her body grew rigid when she saw Alex's friend touch her.

She sighed. "I suppose I could try, but only for you because it's your birthday." She raised her glass, taking another sip. "But I won't kick her out. I'm...afraid of what would happen." She cast an icy warning glare in Olivia's direction.

Olivia once more looked hurt and dropped her head before turning towards the bar and ordering her drink.

Alex turned away, wanting to get up, but stayed where she was.

* * *

An hour later, Alex and her friends were drinking their way through a list of cocktails, discussing the past. Alex had been moved to the middle of the group so there was no way Olivia could get to her, and no one was talking to Olivia or even acknowledging her presence.

She sat on the edge of the group, staring into the drink she'd been nursing for the last half an hour, occasionally looking up at Alex.

Feeling her eyes burning into her, Alex finally looked toward her. "Go home. I'll...come by later."

The smile that Olivia had been about to give her faded. She'd just been about to ask her to dance. Lowering her eyes again, she returned to staring at her drink.

Alex's friend rolled her eyes.

Alex managed to crawl out from under the table, getting up to stand next to Olivia. She took her hand, leading her into the bathroom. "All right Liv. Whatever I did to make you jealous, I'm sorry."

Someone entered the bathroom, but Olivia's glare was enough to make them stumble back out again. As was usual when Alex asked what she'd done, Olivia changed the subject. "Maybe we should both go home now? It's late."

Alex shook her head. "No. Olivia. I don't want to go home. I want to stay here and enjoy my friend's birthday. And I want to know what's going on with you, right now," she finished with one of her scorching stares. "You've never been like this before. You were always so...open and caring. Now you're closed and cold and more jealous than I've ever seen you. Don't be afraid of losing me. I don't want anyone else, but I need to be able to have other friends besides you."

"...If you were just here to see your friends, why did you come out in that dress?"

"Because I happen to like it, okay? You should know - better than anyone else - that I want no one but you and I'm comfortable with who I am. All the others can do is stare and imagine because you're the only one who matters."

Olivia sighed, her fingers tugging gently on Alex's dress like she used to do when she wanted a hug. "Can I stay if I promise not to be...not to get in the way?"

Alex closed the space between them. "Will you try to explain what's going on when we get home? I love you. I just...I want to help."

Olivia nodded, knowing straight away she wouldn't, but enjoying the closes of Alex as she rubbed her nose on her neck, her lips brushing it gently.

Alex wrapped arms around her, kissing her cheek. "You should be able to trust me with anything," she whispered, "even if it down right terrifies you. I want to know. I don't like this Olivia. I like the old Olivia. The one who wouldn't bat an eye at telling me everything in her life. The one who trusted me. I want you back," she said with a slight hitch in her words. "...Please Liv."

Olivia began to relax into her, but then someone entered the bathroom and get body grew rigid once more. "...When we get home."

Alex's arms held her tighter. "What when we get home?"

"I'll tell you."

"Promise?"

One of Alex's friends entered the room, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from Olivia, ignoring her as they had all night. "Come on, Cabot! It's your round!"

She nodded, walking out, gesturing for Olivia to follow. "Okay, if you say so."

Olivia followed silently, hanging by her elbow as she ordered, and then returning to sitting next to her when they returned to the booth.

When the drinks were placed on the table, Alex grabbed hers, watching Olivia closely.

Olivia was back to surveying the room, but when she felt Alex's eyes on her, she turned her head and gave a small smile.

Alex smiled. "You know, maybe if you toasted her..." she whispered.

Olivia's jaw set once more and she turned her head away. It was this friend who made her feel threatened the most. From wealthy parents like Alex, a well paid job, like Alex, beautiful, like Alex…and a lesbian.

Alex placed her hand on her arm. Now she recognized that look, threat, but of what? "Just drink."

Olivia rested a hand on Alex's leg, hoping she'd let her leave it there as she took a sip from her drink.

Alex rested her hand over hers. "So, any plans for the year?" she asked her friend.

"Well, there just happened to be a job vacancy within the DA's office...and I just happened to accidently apply for it…and I just happened to get the job. So check out your new colleague!"

Olivia's hand tightened on Alex's leg.

Alex winced, feeling Olivia's nails dig into her bare leg. "That's great! When do you start?"

"Monday. Office next to yours, just like old times!"

Olivia released her grip on Alex's leg and went to put her arm around her shoulders, moving closer again.

"Wonderful!" Alex said, leaning onto Olivia's shoulder. "It'll be fun. Word of caution, try to cross Donnelly. She can chew you up and spit you out."

"What about the SVU team?"

The thought of this woman not only threatening her outside of work, but at work suddenly made Olivia worry that everyone else would probably like her better than Olivia, herself as well. As they always did when feeling threatened, her hand unconsciously went to her hip to check her weapons, and finding none there made her palms begin to sweat.

Alex smiled. "Oh, and there's also a cop that'll do that too if I'm threatened." She wrapped an arm around Olivia, kissing her cheek. "You may not see much of me outside of court."

Her friend finally looked at Olivia for the first time that evening and Olivia saw a spark of challenge in her eye, making her stomach flip. She suddenly felt trapped in the dark club, in desperate need of air. Separating herself from Alex, she made her way outside.

Alex went after her. "Olivia, what was that?"

She fumbled in her pocket for her phone. "I'm calling a cab. I need to get home. Please go and get your bag."

"...You're being difficult. Why do I need my bag?"

"You're coming with me.'

"I am?" she asked in surprise. "Why?"

"Aren't you? It's late. It's Saturday. It's…going to rain soon."

She sighed, grabbing Olivia's phone from her. "You have nothing to be worried about, Olivia."

Olivia tried to grab it back. "Just please go and get your bag!"

Alex pinned her to the outside wall. "Liv..."

"Please." It came out in a quiet, desperate voice.

Alex saw the lost look in her eyes, nearly on the brink of tears. She pulled her close. "All right, okay. If you're...really not feeling well, I'll take you home." she let go. "Wait for me?" she walked back into the club, grabbing her bag. "Sorry guys. She's sick. And I'd hate to get the rest of you sick..."

None of them looked convinced. Her friend Lisa grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. "I'll see you Monday. If you need me before them, just call, ok?"

She nodded. "That's the problem. I think she feels threatened. She didn't come from a well-to-do family with a lot of money. Raised by a single mother, never knew her father..."

"Didn't he rape her mother?"

Olivia, having entered again to find Alex, heard the last few words and pulled her phone from Alex's hand. "Thanks for spreading the word." She pushed past her and out the door once more.

Alex ran out after her. "I didn't say that!"

Olivia climbed into the waiting cab and went to shut the door.

Alex grabbed the door, climbing in beside her.

Olivia slid as far away as possible from her, mumbling her address to the driver, turning her head to look out the window so Alex couldn't see her tears.

Alex could see her shaking. "Olivia, they're friends, never anything more. I...got the impression you felt threatened so I explained a bit, but I didn't tell them that." She rested a hand on her leg.

Olivia pushed her hand away, turning to look at her as tears fell down her cheeks. "Explained what, Alex? You just don't get it, do you? You don't even try."

"I...explained that you weren't from a wealthy family and raised by a single mother. Before I could say I loved you anyway, you cut me off. What don't I understand? Tell me!"

"Why does that matter? Why should you love me 'despite' that? Why was the first thing you told your father about me that I wasn't college educated? Why are you always telling people things like that about me? Like you love me despite all these downfalls I have? You make me feel pathetic and they're things I can't even do anything about!"

Alex looked away, suddenly feeling smaller. "I...I'm sorry. But what do you want me to say? And as far as my father, he would've found out anyway and...I had to tell him. He's powerful, Olivia."

"He would have found out what? That I'm a worthless human being because my mother was raped while she was getting an education, tried her best to look after me and I chose to work instead of draining more of other people's money? Why is that anyone else's business but mine, anyway?"

Alex flinched at every word. "You're not worthless. What happened was... You're strong, Liv." She couldn't say anymore here.

"Am I? Or do I just pretend to be so people don't hurt me?"

"You are. You just don't believe it. Liv, when I was a younger, my first year in law school, I told my father who I was. Want to know the first thing he did? Backhanded me. Said I was an abomination. You want to know what happened the next night when his friends thought they need to correct me.? I shouldn't have said that, yes, and I'm sorry. I only wanted to protect you. You're much stronger than me. Don't have nightmares like that."

Olivia was silent for a few moments, digesting what she'd been told, before speaking again. "Don't I, Alex? Why do you think I'm so protective of you? Because I enjoy getting ignored by all your friends and glared at by you? Stop here please." The driver stopped and Olivia pushed him some money before opening her door.

"No, I'd never think that. You're...the only one I trust. The only one I feel I can trust. Do you still want me to come in with you?"

"Do what you want, Alex." Olivia left the door open and walked towards her apartment, but her usual protectiveness was still apparent and she stood only a few steps away from the cab, waiting.

Alex got out, standing near the cab as it pulled away. She'd suppressed those memories for so long by not speaking about them. Now they washed over her, pain, terror, anxiety. It made her frozen on the spot, her body trembling and unable to utter a sound as a light drizzle started.

Olivia stood still as well until a group of men turned the corner and began to approach them. Finally she took a step towards Alex, extending a hand to touch hers gently.

Alex jumped, whimpering, eyes still glazed over. Then the tears started.

Olivia stepped closer, putting a hand on her side. "Alex? Come in with me."

Hearing the noise she made, one of the men stepped forward and asked Alex, "Is she bothering you, miss?"

Alex shook her head, wrapping an arm around Olivia as they walked inside. "...I'm sorry..." she said, hardly able to be heard. "I'm...sorry. Please, please don't!" Her mind was fogged by those memories and she couldn't shake them.

Olivia gripped her hands tightly. "Alex. Look at me. Look in my eyes. See ME!"

Alex shook her head. "Late night. Alone. Through my window. I begged. I-I couldn't...weak... Pain."

"I know, Alex. I've been there. Just please, try to focus on me. I'm here. I've got you. I'll...kill anyone who tries to hurt you."

Olivia's voice seemed to begin to break the barrier. "O-livia?" she asked, falling to her knees. Her eyes were so broken and she was still trembling. "Please, help me..."

Olivia fell with her, still holding her tightly. "I love you, Alex, I love you. I've got you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise."

Alex rested her head on her shoulder. "..Promise?" she squeaked. "I-I never thought I'd re-relive it. I-I'm just..." she threw her arms around her.

They sat in the foyer for a long time, the rain beginning to fall heavily outside, Olivia chastising herself for her behavior and her words as Alex trembled in her arms.

Slowly, she'd calmed down, but the more the rain picked up, the more they surfaced. "Olivia?"

"Are you ready to go up now?" It was all Olivia could manage to get out. She simultaneously felt as though she was going to be sick and start punching everything within reach.

She nodded, trying to stand, but falling again. "Help me? Is there somewhere in your place where the rain can't be heard as well?"

Olivia helped her up into the apartment, taking her to the kitchen where the rain could not be heard, she settled her onto a seat in silence.

"Sit with me?"

Olivia wanted to do what she always did when things began to overwhelm her, climb into bed and sleep, but instead she nodded, sitting next to Alex.

Taking her hand she rested her head on the cool table. "..I'm sorry," she said hoarsely. "Y-you c-can go i-if y-you w-want. I kn-know y-you don't wa-want to..."

Olivia reached out her other hand and stroked her hair gently. "Don't want to what, Alex? Sit with the woman I love? Make her feel better? Make her her favorite hot chocolate that she always drinks when she's had a bad day?"

Alex sighed, turning to look at her. "You just look like you don't want t-to be here."

Olivia sighed, reaching out a hand to wipe away some tears. "I don't want to be here. I want to be somewhere else, but still with you. So if you're here, I'm here."

Alex sat up. "Can I please have some hot chocolate? And then go to bed..."

Olivia nodded, then hesitated before moving forward to kiss Alex's cheek, then stood up to make her a drink.

Alex walked into the living room, grabbing the quilt from the back of the couch and wrapping it around her before sitting back at the kitchen table.

* * *

Next Monday morning, Olivia dropped Alex off at work, buying her a coffee and something to eat, dropping several kisses to her head and making her promise to call her if she needed her before finally leaving. She'd only just left the building when Lisa walked into Alex's office. "Why hello, neighbor."

Alex sat at her desk, sipping ay her coffee. "Hi Lisa. Getting settled?"

"Yep, although I was expecting you to show me where to get the best coffee."

She shrugged. "Sorry about that. I had a rough weekend."

"Olivia?" She sat on the edge of her desk, just as Olivia had a few moments earlier.

She shook her head. "No," she sighed, "just me."

"If she's still causing you trouble, Lex, you should just sling her. She's not worth getting upset over." She put a hand over Alex's.

Olivia had forgotten her jacket where she'd left it lying on the couch and took a deep breath before entering the room. They'd done a lot of talking over the weekend, so instead of getting angry or making a scene, she just gave a small smile. "Forgot my jacket."

"Oh, yeah...um, Olivia? Could you maybe stay a second?"

Olivia pulled her jacket on and gave a nod, her eyes trying not to look at where their hands still rested.

"The door," she said, pulling her hand out from under Lisa's, "please?"

Olivia stepped back, closing the door and resting on it.

Alex sighed. "Lisa, you know me, right?"

Lisa gave a nod, unable to resist adding. "And I know you like to be independent."

Olivia looked guiltily at the floor.

"Yes, but Olivia knows when I need her. There's something about me you don't know. It happened in law school. It's the reason I know Olivia's my only one..." she explained what had happened that night.

When she'd finished, Lisa pulled her into a tight hug, mumbling apologies, asking her why she hadn't told her before, telling her how bad she felt for not having noticed, all the things Olivia suddenly felt she should have said and hadn't thought of.

Alex nodded, accepting it gratefully. "Olivia's been through a lot. I suspect it was more the fact she didn't want to notice anything was wrong. I love her anyway."

"Well, you're a nicer person than most." Lisa practically hissed the words over her shoulder at Olivia, before suddenly turning to glare at her. "It's your job, for god sake!"

"Yeah? Wait, 'til you've worked here a few years. The lines blur quickly," Alex said. "And with all she sees on a daily basis, she'd never want to believe it. Besides, I-I buried it and then dug it back up. But I buried it so deep, not even she knew it existed."

Alex had reassured her with these same words the night before when she'd finally broken down and cried, apologizing over and over, but Olivia still felt worse than she ever had in her whole life, and Lisa's glare was only making her feel worse. "I need to go, Alex. I have to get to work."

Alex pulled away from Lisa. "Lisa, don't try to wedge between us. You and I, we just wouldn't work. I love Olivia and the fact that you make her feel inferior," she walked over to stand beside her, "well, let's just say, you're not in my good books."

Lisa looked between them for a moment before replying, "I'm not after you, Alex. I'm trying to look after you. Sometimes you don't realize when you're onto a bad thing." She walked past them, out the door."

Alex shook her head, taking Olivia's hand. "Well, does that prove anything?"

Olivia shrugged, suppressing the answer she knew would upset Alex and instead giving a smile. "I really need to go. I can come by at lunch and bring you something?"

"Liv...come on, be honest. I have been."

Olivia moved forward and dropped a kiss to her nose. "I love you. Forever. That honest enough for now?"

She nodded, kissing her cheek. "Now go," she said.

Half way down the corridor, Alex heard Olivia repeat her sentiment a little louder, so everyone else could hear, this time not in a possessive way, but hoping Alex would feel protected.

Alex smiled, returning to her coffee and breakfast.

* * *

That lunch time, Olivia was running late and didn't arrive at Alex's office until just after half past one, breathless.

Alex looked up as she entered, sighing. "Afternoon detective," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I had to chase down some guy and he decided to catch a train and then I had to wait for ages for them to find a...oh. You already have lunch."

Alex looked up a bit guilty. "I haven't touched it. She just brought it in."

"...It's ok. You can have it. I didn't have time to get much anyway." Olivia continued to hold the bag behind her back, full of food from Alex's favorite restaurant where she'd waiting 20 minutes after demanding they go out and find something that was out of season so they could make her favorite dish.

She shook her head. "I'd...rather have what you brought."

Olivia hesitated before stepping forward and putting in on the desk.

Alex stood, grabbing her wrist before leaning over the desk and kissing her. "Smells great," she said with a smile. "Join me?"

Olivia hesitated, thinking of the pile of paperwork she had after promising to do Elliot's if he covered for her. "...Okay."

"You have something else to do?"

"Nothing as important as spending time with you."

Alex cleared the files from her desk and patted a spot. "Sit."

She sat, noticing for the first time a photo of herself on the desk. "…Is this new?"

She blushed a bit. "...Yeah, it's usually in my desk."

"You don't have to put it out just because I've been... you know."

Alex shook her head. "No, after a year, I figured I should show it..." she said, taking a bite of food. "Mmmm."

Olivia reached out, wiping some sauce from her lip, then sucking her fingers. "It's actually been a year, 2 months, 3 days and 4 hours. Not that I'm counting."

Alex smiled. "I love you. Can we just...forget this morning?"

"How about we just forget the last 2 months? I've been...an idiot, Alex. And I promise I'll try harder."

She kissed her cheek. "Deal. But...now do my intimacy issues...make sense? I'm sorry I didn't tell you for so long."

Olivia reached out, taking her hand to squeeze it. "There's no need to apologize..I'm just…glad that it's out. Those things should be spoken about and dealt with or they ruin people. And you're too perfect to ruin."

"I'm not perfect, Liv, I was robbed of perfection before I knew the meaning of the word, in a sense, by my own flesh and blood. Since then, I...learned to keep quiet, then when I met you, I knew I'd never be able to keep quiet for long."

"You're perfect to me."

Alex stood up, kissing her and laying her on the desk for a moment before pulling her back up. "And I love that about you. Liv...sometime soon...I'd like to prove that. If that's okay with you?"

Olivia nodded, rubbing her nose on Alex's a moment before whispering, "I love you."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think? Sorry this first chapter's so long!

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	2. Cufflinks

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 2: Cufflinks**

Alex sat at her desk a month later, working on paperwork. Olivia had been trying her hardest to be better, less possessive, but Alex knew it was in her nature. She was naturally suspicious and protective, but, partly, Alex was glad.

There was a knock on her door. "Come in." No one entered. She walked up and opened the door to find a bouquet of red roses by her feet. She picked them up, taking them into her office before finding a note in Olivia's handwriting.

"I hope you've almost finished because there's someone waiting outside for you."

Alex quickly, finished her paperwork, donning her jacket and carrying the roses out the door.

Outside, should couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, no one standing around, no Olivia, but she suddenly heard her name being called out, and turning around, found herself being pulled into a limo by her friend Jo.

"What—?"

"Olivia said one year, three months. Frankie thinks that's an anniversary, I said it can't be because you told me you only got together just before Christmas, right? Anyway, she's organized this special shopping trip. It's like, super amazing, because we get vip at so many shops which are full of Christmas shoppers at the moment. She said she hates shopping, so she'll see you at home and enjoy yourself."

Alex nodded, getting into the limo, hands secure on the roses. "Beautiful."

"And there's champagne. The proper stuff. From France. I'm beginning to like her after all."

Alex smiled. "See? She's not bad. Pour me a glass please?"

* * *

They'd been to several shops and gone through several bottles of champagne when there was a knock on Alex's changing room door and another rose dropped in.

Quickly, pulling the shirt back on, she grabbed the rose and opened the door.

There was no one there, but a trail of petals

Alex grabbed her purse and followed the trail.

It led to another dressing room, which was also empty but had some lingerie hanging on a hook, including some underwear with NYPD printed along the back.

"Oooh, nice. Hmm, really hope it's paid for already. That'd be awkward," she mused to herself, changing and walking back out.

When she returned to her friends, she saw Olivia sitting with them.

"Well hi. Didn't think you would be here," she said with a smile.

"I got bored." Olivia tapped the empty rose stem on nose.

Alex walked over and sat in her lap. "So...what's all this for? A special occasion?"

"Just a present. So there was no excuse for you not getting me a Christmas present."

Lisa came out of the dressing room, about to ask Alex what she thought, but her face fell when she saw Olivia and the way Alex was looking at her.

Alex looked to Jo. "So...you approve or are you on her side?" she whispered.

For once, Olivia hadn't noticed Lisa, her eyes only for Alex and her purchases as she attempted to look through her bags.

Jo gave a shrug. "I think Olivia has a better ass than my boyfriend. And you know that's all I care about."

Alex smiled. "Yeah, I do seem to recall that." She looked at Olivia. "Do you want something?"

"Just seeing if you got me anything."

As Olivia bent forward again, Jo bent down to look at her bum and Lisa walked back into the changing room in a huff.

"Go ahead and look. Well, I'd better change..." she said, standing up.

As Olivia sat down, she sat on Jo's hand, and Alex returned to the changing room listening to Jo's fake apologies and Olivia's embarrassment.

Alex quickly changed and walked back out. "So now what?"

Olivia and Jo had disappeared, and instead her friend Frankie replied. "Got another couple of shops, and another couple of bottles to finish, then dinner."

Alex looked around. "Please tell me she's not..."

"Who?"

"Lisa," she breathed.

"She went back to the car with Jo."

She sighed. "Damn! I know she's lying. She wants my attention."

"Lying about what? By the way, Olivia told me to tell you it was paid for. I don't know what, though."

Alex sat beside her. "Lisa says she's not out to get me, just looking out for me, but I don't believe her and I think Olivia was talking about these," she pulled them from her purse.

Frankie laughed at the cufflink style bra and NYPD underwear. "These are awesome! As for Lisa, just ignore her. It worked for me when she wouldn't leave me alone. She moves on quickly enough. She's harmless, if annoying."

Alex put them back in her purse. "Good. Let's go."

"And I think you'll find it's Olivia, not you." Jo walked out first.

Olivia was standing with her other 3 friends outside the store, ad Jo was with Lisa in the limo already.

"Hey," Alex said, hugging her tightly, "you have great taste."

Olivia blushed a little. "They're just a joke pair. You don't have to wear them. I just…thought they might remind you of me. You don't mind me coming along for the rest of the night, do you?"

Alex shook her head, kissing her deeply. "I'll only wear them around you. And it's perfect that you're coming along."

Olivia got into the limo last, hesitated, then sat next to Lisa, wanting to show Alex she was prepared to get on with all her friends.

Alex slid into her lap once Olivia was settled, wrapping her arms around her.

If Olivia was shocked by the unusual public affection, she gave no sign, just wrapped an arm around her, taking a sip of her drink.

Alex positioned herself against her, leaning her head on her shoulder. "Thank you for the flowers."

"They reminded me of your perfume."

Alex smiled. "So now where are we off to?"

Olivia went to reply just as Lisa bumped into them, tipping Alex's drink all over her own top.

"Oops," Alex grabbed some paper towels, handing them to her.

Lisa pushed them away roughly with a grumble, then pulled her top off, sitting in only her bra as she rummaged through her shopping to find the top she'd just bought.

Alex blushed a bit, turning her head away from her.

Never a shy one, she wiped her stomach with the paper towel, then asked Olivia to unclasp her bra as she didn't need one with her new top.

Olivia, wanting to respect Alex, refused.

"I'll do it," Alex said, unclasping it, "there."

She pressed a little to Olivia as she slipped her new top on, and Olivia had to suppress a smile as it suddenly occurred to her what was going on.

Alex looked at her. "You know, don't you?"

Olivia dropped a kiss to her shoulder and whispered in her ear. "I know that I love you. That's all that counts. Who needs anyone else when they have a perfect girlfriend?"

Alex smiled. "Liv... Tonight?"

"What about tonight?" Everyone, already a little drunk and loud, barely noticed as Olivia began to drop gentle kisses to Alex's face. "Perfect nose. Perfect cheeks. Perfect chin."

"I love you," she whispered in her ear, "tonight I want to show you how much."

Olivia smiled, dropping another kiss, this time to her lips. "Perfect, body and soul."

Alex kissed her again.

* * *

Alex woke first the next morning, before Olivia's alarm. She was dressed again, and she vaguely remembered Olivia slipping one of her NYPD t-shirts over her head after their shower, kissing her torso, every part of her body as she did so, telling her how much she loved her, and starting Alex's tears once more.

She couldn't remember a night when she'd cried so much, not from sadness but from happiness. Olivia made her feel perfect. This morning, as she slid from the bed and looked out the window at the slow moving traffic, she felt perfect, she felt whole. She felt beautiful. And she felt loved. She turned to look back at the bed and found Olivia watching her with a sleepy smile.

"Morning," Alex said with a smile.

"Good Morning, beautiful."

Alex walked back over and sat on the bed, before laying down beside her. "I feel a little sore, but it's a good kind of sore."

Olivia's smile widened and she reached out to run the back of her hand over Alex's cheek. "You can have a soak in the bath while I make some breakfast, if you like?"

Alex crawled back under the covers, snuggling up to her. "I'm...okay right here. I...always knew it would...be different, feel different, but I never imagined I would feel so...perfect, relaxed or loved."

"That's how you should feel. That's how you'll always feel. With me."

She smiled. "I know. I'm actually happy... There's no other place I'd rather be."

"Not even in the bath...with me...kissing away all your aches and pains?" as Olivia's lips met hers, the alarm went off.

Alex groaned, reaching over, losing her footing and falling onto her as she pounded the dismiss button. "Oops."

Olivia smiled, her arms wrapping around her to keep her there. "Lucky you're pretty enough to make a yelling from Cragen ok when I'm late for work."

Alex worked her way over so she was lying on top of her. "Well, I can't say I'd want that to happen..."

"I can't think of a better reason to be late than-" She was cut off by her alarm starting again, then her mobile ringing.

Alex kissed her again, grabbing her phone. "Should I?"

Olivia nodded, her lips returning to kiss the spot she'd decided the night before was her favorite.

"Olivia's phone. Alex Cabot, personal assistant speaking," she said, trying to ignore the moan in her throat.

Olivia chuckled quietly, as did Elliot. "Tell her, when she's gotten dressed, which I assume she's doing right now, to come and pick me up. Car's broken down."

"All right," Alex said, rolling off of her, "I'll tell her you're stranded."

Olivia gave a sad moan, trying to pull her back. When Alex hung up and told her about Elliot and where he was, she looked momentarily confused as to who Elliot was.

"Your partner? Stabler? Remember him?"

Olivia blushed a little, but then smiled, trying to tug her back again. "You're my partner."

"Your other partner. Your cop partner," she said rolling back onto her. "I think I like being on top of you."

"You're welcome there any time you like."

Half an hour later, when Olivia finally made it out the door, Alex was nearly in tears again, wondering if the amazing feeling in her chest when Olivia told her how much she loved her would ever disappear.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, svuroho & Kikilia14

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	3. Early Gifts

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 3: Early Gifts**

It was now a week before Christmas, and Alex couldn't remember ever looking forward to it more. Olivia took her to work most mornings, and the mornings she couldn't, she still found a warm coffee and something to eat waiting for her on her desk. Even when they didn't manage to see each other for a whole day, Olivia managed to do something to show her how much she loved her.

Today, Olivia had disappeared early in the morning, leaving a note on her pillow for her. When she'd gotten to work, she'd found coffee and a Christmas pastry waiting for her, and now, at lunch time, despite no message from Olivia, as she stood to get lunch, lunch was delivered to her, along with a rose.

"Thank you."

The man nodded, smiling, and dashed out, glad of the extra cash he had for delivering the food.

Alex walked back to her desk with the food and began to eat when her phone beeped.

"Is that a cinnamon latte I can smell?"

"Smell?" she text.

There was another knock on the door, and when she looked up, she saw Olivia leaning on the doorframe, tight trousers on, her shirt ripped and a scratch on her face, taking the time she was supposed to be getting checked by the doctor to visit Alex.

Alex ran over, pulling her to her. "What happened, baby?"

"I'm ok. Did you get your lunch? Smells amazing."

"Yes I did. What happened to you? Shouldn't you be getting checked out?"

"I thought you could check me out." Olivia winked.

Alex pulled the napkin, dabbing at the bloodied scratch. "What happened?"

Olivia bit into Alex's sandwich, closing her eyes with enjoyment, not having eaten that day. "Nothing."

"Yeah, right," she sat on her desk, wrapping her arms around her. "Liv, really?"

"Just a scuffle with a suspect, I'm ok. Promise."

Alex kissed her uninjured cheek, rubbing the other. "You're sure?"

"I swear on the amazing Christmas present you bought me."

"Remind me again?"

"That big box I saw you putting in your car last week."

"Oh, yeah. That."

"It was for me, wasn't it? Because if you haven't got me a present yet you'll need to hurry. I've got you 10 already."

She smiled. "Don't worry. I'm just looking forward to spending time with you."

"I'm looking forward to presents." Olivia took another large bite of sandwich.

She pouted. "Even more than spending a week alone in a snow-covered cabin with me?"

"I think that is one of my presents."

"Oh yeah, I did book it, didn't I?" she asked, kissing her chin.

Olivia smiled, then reluctantly pulled away. "I need to get back."

"I love you. Will you come by later?"

"I'll try, but I don't know if I'll have time." Olivia's eyes involuntarily glanced at the remainder of the sandwich.

Alex handed her the sandwich. "Take it."

Olivia smiled gratefully and kissed Alex gently. "I love you, beautiful."

Alex kissed back with a bit more fire. "I love you too. Come find me later."

* * *

She didn't see Olivia for another 2 days, the day before they were due to go to the cabin. Each morning, as usual, there was food waiting for her, and lunch was delivered with a rose, and she always found a rose just inside her door when she got home, but the next time she saw Olivia was in a restaurant that she'd just walked in to meet her friends for Christmas dinner.

Olivia had her back to her and was standing next to Elliot, her jacket pushed back and her hand casually resting on her gun as they spoke to someone behind the bar.

Alex walked up, leaning next to her on the bar.

"So are you going to tell us?" Elliot asked the man, who glanced nervously at Olivia.

"Look, I have a customer. I told you, come back later!"

Alex walked away, turning her back to them.

Olivia turned to look, recognizing Alex's back, the distraction giving the guy enough time to grab his baseball bat, giving her a whack on the head,

Alex heard a groan, turning just in time to catch Olivia as she collapsed. "Olivia! Liv!?"

Elliot gave chase after the guy as Olivia groaned again.

Alex sat against the bar with her, holding a cold glass to her head. "Liv...Liv come on. It's going to be okay. Please wake up!"

Olivia groaned again, lifting up a weak hand to bat the glass away, motioning to her radio that lay on the floor.

Alex pulled her hand away. "Stay calm. Elliot's chasing after him. I'm here. I can call if you want me to," she said, kissing her knuckles.

"I know you're here. It was your bum in that skirt that distracted me." Olivia groaned again as she went to sit up.

Alex sat her up carefully. "Careful. Here, lean on me. Are you all right? Do you want me to call... or..."

Olivia grabbed the radio from her and called in the incident, resting her head on Alex's shoulder as several officers rushed in.

"I came here for dinner, but if you need looking after..."

"You're wearing that skirt to dinner? Who were you seeing?" Olivia attempted to get up again and groaned.

"No one. I wore this to work. Just out with the girls. Don't try to get up right away. You took a pretty good blow to the head."

"I know, I felt it. Lucky my eyes were on your bum at the time or it would have been a hell of a lot more painful." Olivia gave her a weak smile.

Alex stroked her cheek. "Are you going to be okay? I could forget about dinner."

"I'll be ok. I'll see you tomorrow morning. 8am. Sharp."

Alex helped her stand. "You should probably ice that."

"Yes, Dr. Cabot." She waved reluctantly at the paramedics as Elliot walked through the restaurant with the restaurant employee in cuffs.

"I could take you home," Alex offered.

"I better go to hospital otherwise Cragen won't let me have time off."

"If you need me, call. Or do you want me to come with you?"

"Alex, I've already answered that. You can go to your dinner. But if you want to come with me, that would be ok, too."

She looked over. "Jo?"

"If you stay, you'll just be worried."

She nodded. "I know, but you guys went to all this trouble and I'm bailing again. I'm sorry."

"We're used to it. Trust me. You're either giving her soppy eyes over the table, sitting on her and giving her soppy eyes, checking your phone to see whether or not she's sent you a message you can get soppy over or sniffing a rose and getting soppy over that."

She sighed. "See you. Come on, Liv."

"Do you really get soppy eyed over my texts?" Olivia asked as they stepped into the ambulance.

Alex nodded, leaning Olivia into her lap. "Of course I do."

Olivia smiled, running a hand down Alex's cheek before groaning and shutting her eyes tightly as the paramedics pressed something to the back of her head.

Alex held it there. "Close your eyes for a bit. It's not horrible. It'll be okay."

Olivia was kept in hospital overnight in case of concussion, and she grew so stressed that they wouldn't get out of the city before all the other people heading on Christmas holidays that Alex left, promising to pack for her and pick her up at 8.

At Olivia's house, she found all the presents already packed in a large bag, but when she was packing the large jacket Olivia had told her several times she'd need to pack, a small, square box fell out.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she opened it. It contained a diamond ring, one she remembered gazing at whilst shopping with her friends.

Smiling to herself, she put it back into the bag and took the bag out to the car, after which came Olivia's suitcase. Hers was already there. She just could stop smiling. She probably wouldn't be able to believe it was true.

* * *

When she arrived back at the hospital, Olivia was already waiting outside, rubbing her hands together to try and ward off the cold. Her head was still wrapped up in a bandage, so she was wearing a bright pink beanie, the only one she'd been able to find.

Alex got out, hugged her tightly and helped her in. "We're all packed. Should we go?"

"Please."

Alex leaned over, kissing her gently, before they headed out of town. It was about a four hour drive, but she didn't mind. The light snow falling was relaxing.

Olivia napped occasionally, one hand resting on Alex's leg. Every time she woke up, she'd watch Alex silently before she notice she'd woken. "You're beautiful."

Alex looked over, smiling. "Thank you. You are too."

"But you...you're amazingly beautiful." Olivia ran a finger down the side of Alex's face and along her jaw.

Alex continued to focus on the road, having already driven over halfway. "Go back to sleep for a bit."

"Pull over."

"Why?" she asked as she pulled off to the side. "Is something wrong?"

When Alex had turned off the engine, Olivia leaned across and captured her lips.

Alex pulled her closer, hands going up and down her back. "I love you."

"Marry me." Olivia spoke the words into Alex's lips, capturing them for another kiss.

Alex pulled back. "Wh-what? Y-you're serious?"

Olivia went bright red, clashing with the beanie. She nodded.

She thought a moment. "I love you! We need to go though if we don't want to get caught in this storm."

Olivia nodded, her hopeful smile fading. She sat back and did her belt up again.

"Olivia, I want it traditional before I give you an answer, but, if it's any indication, I never want to be without you."

Olivia glanced at her and was encouraged by the look she gave. Settling back into the seat, she rested her hand on Alex's leg again and closed her eyes.

"Love you."

* * *

Olivia was asleep before she could reply, and slept the rest of the way to the cabin.

Pulling up, she killed the engine."Liv? We're here."

"Marry me now?" Olivia asked sleepily. She asked 3 more times as they moved their things into the cabin through the heavily falling snow.

Alex sat on the couch. "Do it right and I'll answer you. A ring would be nice."

Olivia made a mess of all Alex's neat packing looking for the jacket, then landed heavily on one knee in front of Alex, her beanie slightly lop sided. She held out the small box.

Alex pulled the beanie off. "Yes? Something you want to say? Some declaration?"

As Olivia opened the box, her hair sticking up at odd angles, the only noise the wind outside, she suddenly found herself lost for words.

Alex smiled, giving her her hand. "I love you, but why do you want to marry me?"

Olivia felt so nervous her voice shook and broke as she spoke quietly. "I love you. I can't imagine my life without you. I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you how perfect you are."

She smiled wider, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks. "Always? No matter what?"

"You'll always be perfect for me."

"And you'll always be my kind of guy," she said with a laugh. "Yes, I will marry you! Nothing would make me happier! Come to me, my fiancée."

Olivia moved towards her, slipping the ring on her finger as she kissed her.

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "I love you, Olivia Benson."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter & Kikilia14

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	4. Warmth

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 4: Warmth**

They'd spent the night in front of the warm fire curled up on the couch. They'd had soup about an hour before falling asleep. Alex was laying behind her, her arms wrapped securely around Olivia, who had a cold pack on her head. Alex stretched, readjusted Olivia and drifted off again, as had happened many times during the night.

Olivia slept heavily for most of the night, but she woke up when the fire finally went out. She moved gently from Alex's arms and put some more logs on it, glancing out the window at the landscape, now covered in snow as the light began to rise.

Noticing the absence of warmth, she stirred slightly. "Liv? Wh-what's the matter? What's going on?"

Olivia returned to her, sliding under the blanket that had rested over them, curling against her, her hands seeking Alex's and pulling them to rest on her cold stomach. "Fire went out."

"Mmm mmm," she smiled, still exhausted. "How's your head?"

She kissed her gently. "Fine. Go back to sleep."

She nodded. "Snuggle right up next to me?"

Olivia moved closer, her fingers playing with Alex's ring.

She smiled, kissing the corner of her mouth. "Beautiful. I love it."

"It reminded me of you, my perfect, amazing, beautiful fiancée." Olivia punctuated every word with a kiss.

She smiled, her hand going under her shirt to rub her bare back. "I love you."

* * *

When she awoke the next morning, she was wrapped in the blanket, the fire was blazing and Olivia had disappeared again. On the table next to her, there was a cinnamon coffee and a plate of steaming pancakes, topped with wobbling writing in chocolate sauce. "Gone for wood and food. Love U."

She smiled, hoping Olivia would be back soon. She got up and went to take a warm bath.

Knowing Alex so well, the bath was already run, rose petals floating on the water.

Alex smiled, warming it up a bit as she stripped and stepped in.

Olivia returned home half an hour later. Seeing the coffee finished and the pancakes half eaten, she smiled and took a bite of one, dropping the bags. "WHILE SHE'S NOT IN THE ROOM, I'LL LOOK THROUGH MY PRESENTS!" She said the words deliberately loudly, a smile on her face.

Alex walked down. "Well, that won't be hard seeing as I managed to pack it into a few boxes."

Olivia smiled, resting on the back of the couch as she watched her walk.

Alex strutted a bit before going to sit beside her. "Everything go okay?"

Olivia nodded. "Even managed to get a non-pink beanie." She motioned to the one she now wore, with reindeers."

"Ah festive! Cute. What else did you get?"

"Some wood for the fire, some...did I mention I got engaged last night?"

"Ah, congratulations! Do I know the person?"

"Probably. Once they've seen her, people don't tend to forget her. Especially when she's wearing her glasses. I got her some roses that are on the bed, and all her favorite foods for Christmas day."

"She sounds very lucky," she said, wrapping her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I know I am."

Olivia smiled, wrapping her arms around her and resting her hands just under her top. "I know it's not Christmas day…but can I open one of my presents?"

"Mhm, you already gave me one last night."

Olivia pulled back a little, her hands moving to the front of Alex's top, her eyes sparkling as her fingers tugged on the buttons. "This one?"

She smirked. "Are you sure it's safe with you still recovering?"

Olivia smiled, undoing one button and pressing her hands to Alex's stomach. "You'd have to be gentle."

"I will be."

Olivia leant back on the couch, a smile playing on her lips before pulling Alex to her. "Come here, Mrs. Benson."

Alex smiled, leaning into her. "Whatever you wish."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14, DaniiButNotBeck & Cathy77

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	5. Family

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 5: Family**

It was now Christmas Eve, and Alex was lying on her back on the couch, listening to a bad Christmas CD Olivia had insisted on playing, wondering when she'd ever been so happy. Her fingers occasionally played with the ring on her finger, and a smile would almost split her face.

Olivia was putting up some last9minute decorations, but was distracted by Alex's happy sighs and had spent the last half an hour tangled in lights just watching her.

"You don't need to spend so much time on decorations, Liv. I'm just happy being with you."

The wide, goofy smile that had been on Olivia's face for the last half an hour just widened.

Alex walked over, tearing the lights from her hands and pinning her to the wall. "I can think of a better way to spend the night."

"I already unwrapped my favorite present...twice today. I would have thought that was enough?"

Alex smiled, sliding her hands around her back. "So you don't want to just cuddle with me in front of the fire?" she pouted.

Olivia wrapped the lights around her shoulders and gave her a gentle kiss. "I want to make Christmas perfect for you. And that includes bad Christmas music and Christmas lights all over that break at the last minute."

"But I want to sit with you!"

"I'll be done soon. If you stop looking so perfect and making me stare at you."

Alex hung her head, sulking back over to the couch and covering up. "Do you have any good Christmas memories?"

"Last Christmas. I was working, but you sent me a message every hour."

"Oh yeah, I remember. I was...with mother I think. I wished you would've been there."

"I was. I was in here." Olivia hovered over her a moment before dropping a kiss over her heart.

She smiled, kissing her gently. "This is the first Christmas Eve I haven't been home in many years. I'm sure mother wishes I was there. After she found out about...she divorced him. It's been me and her for many years. In a way, there's no other place I'd rather be right now, but at the same time..." She sighed.

"We could always invite her..."

"We'd have to go get her or send someone. She'd never drive in weather like this, but...I'm kinda liking being here with just you."

"I bet she'd cook a better chicken than either of us, though." Olivia smiled down at Alex.

She nodded. "Yes I know she would. How would we get her here though?"

Olivia brushed hair from her face. "Magic."

At that moment, there was a beep outside.

"A-are we expecting company?"

"Merry Christmas." Olivia smiled, motioning for her to go and look.

Alex looked out the window seeing Elliot helping a woman from his car. Her mother. She smiled widely, opening the door. "Well hi," she said, hugging her tightly as Elliot brought a bag in.

Her mother hugged her tightly. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart!"

Elliot waved to Olivia, then they threw presents at each other before he disappeared outside again and drove away.

Alex helped her in and to the couch. "I take it you've met..."

Her mother smiled fondly at Olivia. "Not in person, only over the phone."

Olivia gave a shy smile, still tangled up in lights.

"Take a second away from that will you?"

"No, you two umm...catch up. I'll...finish these."

Alex rolled her eyes. "All right," she said, sitting beside her. "So how is everything? The dog, the cat, the garden?"

Her mother smiled. "Fine, although I'm sure they too would wonder why you've never brought Olivia to meet them."

"I...we work a lot. It was hard enough getting this week off." Alex looked over. "You still haven't told me why you have that head injury."

Olivia smiled sheepishly, pulling her beanie a little lower. "Another time."

She nodded. "Fine, but I'm sure you're sweating under there. Just take it off."

She went to protest, but as her whole idea for the holiday was to do everything Alex wanted. She pulled it off, self-consciously flattening her hair.

Alex sighed. "Don't worry about it. Just keep going."

As Olivia returned to the lights, Alex's mother squeezed Alex's hand. "She called me from hospital in a panic, worried that she wouldn't be able to come, asking if I would. We've been talking on the phone for a few months in fact. She's a good one, Alexandra."

Alex smiled, then sighed. "At least you think so. I'm not trying to ruin the mood or atmosphere, but have you heard a word from..."

Her mother lowered her head, glanced at Olivia, then lowered her voice. "…She asked for his address a few weeks ago."

"She say why? I...told her a few months back. I can understand her not wanting him near us and I don't think she'd cause any harm, but then again..."

Her mother shook her head. "She wouldn't say. I didn't want to give it to her, but then she told me how upset you'd been. I told her, just to stop her ..."

"Like I said, I doubt she'd do more than threaten him. She's not stupid."

"Done!" Olivia grinned, lights up.

"Beautiful!" Alex said with a smile. "Now, would you formally come meet my mother?"

Olivia approached, shy again, despite the fact she'd had almost weekly, friendly phone calls with her.

Alex smiled. "This is my mother, Sandra Williams. Mom, this is Olivia."

Olivia put out a hand, but Sandra pulled her into a hug. Olivia looked startled, but hugged her back.

Alex walked out to the kitchen, grabbing the bandages from the kit before walking back in. "We should change that bandage, not that you need it anymore, but..."

* * *

They spent a relatively quiet evening together, Alex and Sandra catching up, Olivia sitting quietly next to Alex, holding her hand and joining in occasionally.

Alex smiled. "Thank you. This is the second-best present I've gotten, Olivia."

"What was the first? And why are you giving her so many presents before Christmas Day?"

Olivia blushed again, standing. "On that note, I think I'll go start dinner." She dropped a kiss to Alex's head and left the room.

She beamed, showing the ring. "She'd kept asking me on the way up here, but I said I wouldn't give her an answer unless she was traditional."

Sandra took her hand. "It's...beautiful!"

She smiled. "Isn't it?"

"Can you...I don't...I've never really thought about...can you two actually get married?"

Alex thought for a moment. "For now...yes, there's a law passed - that's since being appealed - to allow gay marriage. But even if it doesn't last there's Vegas...or another state."

"And…will…it be traditional?"

"I...think so. We haven't really discussed it. My condition is without him. She-her parents died, so no problem there." Alex watched her words, remembering how upset she'd gotten last time she said too much.

* * *

That night, Alex tried to talk to Olivia about it, but Olivia was too focused on kissing every part of her body to say Merry Christmas for the first time. "In a church?" Alex asked.

Olivia's response was to drop a kiss to her belly button. "Merry Christmas."

She smiled. "Yes, Olivia, Merry Christmas, but I'd like to sort this out so that, hopefully, we can legally be married in New York."

Olivia moved up a little further, dropping a kiss to her ribs. "Merry Christmas. Where does it matter where we marry, as long as it's to each other?"

"Valid point. But I would like it to be in a church. Maybe just a small gathering. It doesn't have to be huge. I've...made a point of saying I don't want my father involved."

Olivia dropped a kiss to Alex's other side, uttering Merry Christmas again. "Not that he'd be able to. We can do whatever you want."

She sat up. "What do you mean? She told me you asked for his address, but I was convinced you wouldn't do anything other than a threat."

Olivia sat back, but tried to pull Alex to her. "What does it matter? Come on, what type of church do you want it to be in? I've got connections, you know."

Alex stood, pacing the room. "I...It doesn't, but I'm curious."

"Come back to bed, Alex."

Alex stopped, turning to face her. "Look, I know whatever happened, you did it for me... just tell me you didn't kill or paralyze him...or better yet, explain exactly what you did. I...I don't care, not really, but... Come on, please? I won't ever do anything against you because I hate him more than you do..."

"…You think I'm stupid enough to approach him, though? Stupid enough to do something that could get back at you?"

"Well, you won't answer me, so..."

Olivia stood, pulling on a jumper and stomping into some boots. "Merry Christmas, Alex!" She threw some paperwork on the bed and left the room. A few moments later, the front door slammed.

Alex sighed, grabbing the papers. They were a restraining order, for both of them. She pulled on some warm clothes and followed, hoping she wasn't far.

The visibility outside was terrible, so Olivia had made do with stomping around outside the house.

Alex saw her around the back where the lights were shining. She leaned against the side of the cabin, sighing.

Exercise usually made her feel better when she was angry, but the air was so cold she could barely get a breath in.

"I'm sorry, but, honestly, if something had happened, I can't say the adult in me would've been very broken up."

Olivia stopped, glaring at her. "So, bad Olivia for being stupid for doing something you don't even know she did, good Olivia for doing something you don't even know she did...make up your mind!"

Alex walked up to her, gripping her shoulders. "I'm sorry! I...never thought anyone would ever do something like that...to help me move on." Tears cascaded. "I hadn't thought about anything of that nature in years and then you...you made me believe that...m-maybe I really could be happy. I...I'm glad you did that, glad you filed the restraining order. I wanted to...so many times, but I barely ever saw him. Plus, he's a high-powered attorney so he'd bite me hard. I...could've lost my job!"

"Alex…have you even looked at what I've done? It's not going to come back on you, none of it. He had no idea I was even involved, if he even knew who I was. I've never met him, let alone killed him. Even though I wanted to. Just...look at the papers, ok?"

Alex nodded. "Come back with me, please Olivia? Nothing's perfect, not without you."

"You still are."

She smiled. "Please?"

Olivia sighed, but followed her inside.

Alex quickly went to the room, grabbing the papers and coming back down. "Fraud? For what?"

"He'd been doing deals for years. I don't know a lot about it. I tried not to get too involved." Olivia pulled her knees to her chest as she sat.

Alex sat beside her. "What, uh, what tipped you off?"

"One of the...uh...names...of the men who…he's in prison for the same thing."

"Oh. How did you get their names? I don't even know their names."

"A process of elimination. Alex, the only thing that stopped me killing him was the thought that it would mean I would have to be apart from you."

She nodded, setting the papers beside her, opening her arms. "Come here?"

Olivia moved closer, whispering into her hair. "I'd do it, if you wanted me to."

She wrapped her arms around her. "I don't. I'd never deal with it then. Besides, then you'd be sent away, but...I do appreciate the thought," she kissed her temple, "thank you."

"It's..ok then? You're not angry with me?"

She sighed. "No, no, of course not. I'm...just glad it's taken care of. I'm sorry. The thought that you would be away from me was what I was really upset about."

Olivia moved closer, starting up her Merry Christmas kisses again. "Never."

"I...told mother your parents were dead, nothing more. I hope that was okay."

Olivia hesitated before dropping another kiss to her earlobe and nodding. "Merry Christmas."

Alex smiled, kissing her lips. "Merry Christmas, Liv. I love you."

"Ah, I haven't finished yet, you're not allowed to start until I've finished, and there's one more spot I'd like to say Merry Christmas to." Olivia smiled before sliding down Alex's body, sending a shiver of pleasure down her spine.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14 & DaniiButNotBeck

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	6. Withheld

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 6: Withheld**

Alex woke in the bed, all warm and snuggled up against Olivia, nuzzling her neck, wondering if she had any other surprises in store for her. They'd stayed up late the night before just snuggling and cuddling on the couch silently. She loved those little moments. She wrapped her arms tighter around her.

Olivia gave a happy sigh and her hand began to gentle stroking movement she'd been doing on Alex's arm as they went to sleep.

She smiled. "Merry Christmas."

A sleepy smile spread across Olivia's face and she mumbled. "Presents now?"

"Maybe if you wake up a bit more. I smell good food. Mom's good food. We can go down in our jamies!"

"I'm not wearing any."

Alex smiled wider. "Well, pull on a shirt and some sweats. It's what I'm going to do."

"If I hadn't invited her, we could have spent the morning like this," Olivia grumbled, her hand running down Alex's naked thigh.

"I'm glad you did though. The holidays were always...especially lonely when we weren't together."

Olivia dropped a kiss to her head, then stretched. "You go down first. I'm going to have a shower."

Alex stood, the sunlight streaming over her muscular, full form, pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

Alex had half an hour alone with her mom before Olivia came in, fresh from the shower where she hoped she'd got rid of some of the sexual tension that had been building up in her body from looking, but not touching Alex in the way she wanted to. She gratefully accepted a mug of coffee.

Alex was working on a stack of pancakes, pushing the plate toward Olivia. "Have some," she said with a smile.

Olivia avoided eye contact with her, knowing Alex would recognize the look in her eyes. Instead she took a large bite and spoke through a mouthful, "Delicious!"

Alex smiled again. "She's a wonderful cook, isn't she?"

Olivia nodded, keeping her head down.

Alex sensed she knew why Olivia was avoiding her, but didn't want to press the subject now. "After you're done, we can open presents."

Olivia finally lifted her head, a wide smile on her face. The only Christmas she'd ever had presents to open was when she was working and presents from the boys generally left a lot to be desired. "I'm done!"

Alex took her hand. "Come on, let's all go sit in front of them."

Sandra remembered seeing the same look on Olivia's face on Alex's when she was younger and couldn't help but smile at the thought of her being a tough, gun-carrying cop.

Alex led her over, sitting in the middle. "You're joining in, right?" she asked her mother.

"Of course. I put all my presents under the tree last night."

"You...brought us presents?" Alex asked.

"Yes. I hope you got me something."

"I...think I saw a couple marked for you as I packed them in the car."

Olivia, unable to sit still any longer, stood up and passed out presents.

Alex piled hers up around her. "Olivia, is this...considered your first family Christmas?"

Olivia blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

Alex stood up, hugging her tight. "Your reaction is similar to a child's, but mine is too. It's okay though. I'm sure we'll have a lot of these holidays."

"I hope so," Olivia whispered, slipping a small present into Alex's pocket. "For later."

She nodded. "We will."

Sandra decided Olivia, with the most presents, should unwrap a couple of hers first, and she sat on the floor with shaking hands, unwrapping the brightly colored paper, imagining all the presents she'd had before. Soccer balls, game tickets, something for her desk, the occasional something pink as a joke…a bottle of alcohol from her mother-half drunk already.

Alex saw she was shaking. "Liv? Are you okay?"

Olivia nodded, finally managing to undo the paper, but unable to see the present from the tears in her eyes.

Alex saw her smile. She'd found it out shopping that day. Just a shirt - possibly a nightshirt - that said 'Property New York's Finest'."It's not much. I thought...when you don't see me..."

Olivia wiped away her tears and her smiled widened as she hugged it to herself. "Perfect."

Alex smiled. "Glad you like it. Open a few more."

Olivia opened several presents in quick succession, tears falling openly down her cheeks, Alex amazed at the emotion even the smallest of gift could bring. Finally, Olivia urged her and Sandra to open some.

Alex smiled, upon seeing her open a few shirts and a chain necklace. "How did you know?" she asked Olivia.

"She..hinted that she had been too busy to come to New York for a while and shop at her favorite stores. They remembered her and told me what to get." Olivia blushed as Sandra hugged her tightly.

"Lucky then." Alex sighed. "This is much different than the Christmases I remember, happier."

"..I didn't know what Christmas was until I started school and then I didn't get a present until I turned 12. Then it was a bottle of Vodka and some contraceptive." Olivia offered, softly.

Alex wrapped an arm around her. "Things will be much different now and...contraceptives? Really?" she couldn't help cracking a smile. "I mean, Vodka...yeah, she probably figured...it'd be nice to share...I mean, I'm guessing."

Olivia smiled a little sadly. "In case anything happened to me. She didn't want me to have a mistake, like she did." At this, she stood. "I'm just going to get another drink."

Alex looked toward her mother a second before following her. "...It wasn't a mistake," she offered softly, "or her fault. I've...never heard you speak like that." She put a hand on her shoulder. "She wanted you to be safe. She loved you. Not many women would do what she did."

"Yeah, I'm sure she did. Look, I'm just going to go for a walk for a few minutes, okay?" Olivia stepped towards the door.

Alex grabbed her wrist. "Whatever I said, I didn't mean it the way you think. I guess when I said it I...didn't consider everyone. I'm sorry. Please don't be long," she said, letting go, knowing she should let Olivia be alone for a bit. "I'll miss you," she whispered.

When she returned to Sandra, she was looking curiously out the window at Olivia as she walked away from the house. "…what was that all about?"

Alex shook her head. "It was...nothing. She just needs a little time."

"Sounded like something to me, Alex."

She sighed, sitting back beside her. "Okay, it is, but let her tell you. She hates it when I say it. It's...very personal."

* * *

When Olivia returned half an hour later, she was apologetic and shaking from cold. Sandra quickly stood and offered to make her a warm drink, intending to leave her and Alex alone. "No...I should...explain."

Alex wrapped the blanket they'd been covered in around her as she sat between them, her hand in Olivia's, nodding encouragingly.

Olivia started and stopped several times. She hated explaining this, and she was terrified Alex's mother would hate her...and that if she did Alex would follow her and leave Olivia by herself. Another lonely Christmas. Eventually she shook her head, unable to get the words out, motioning for Alex to tell her.

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "I...kinda lied earlier. She hates bringing it up so... Her mother did die, but she has no idea who her father is because...she's the fruit of her mother's rape..."

Olivia's face went red, and she hid it in Alex's neck, fighting off the emotions that always threatened, but she was unable to stop the words she uttered into Alex. "I know who he is. I found him."

"When? How come you've never...? I understand not wanting to, but..."

"You sent him to jail."

"For? How did you know...?"

"DNA. I...you said he was vile."

"...I've said that to anyone I've ever convicted I think, but why check? It was a one-in-a-million chance."

"I didn't check that. I put it in the computer. I shouldn't have, but I wanted to be able to meet your mother knowing who I really was..."

She nodded, the breath she let out a mixture of both anger and relief. "I...I'm glad you found out...I guess. I..." she stood, going into the kitchen.

Olivia glanced up at Sandra, shame in her eyes.

Sandra patted her arm. "Go talk to her. She seems...more hurt than angry. I think she just wants to know why you didn't tell her earlier."

Olivia stared anxiously into the kitchen for a moment before nodding, then walked after Alex, but her confidence left her again when she saw Alex's posture, remembering her standing like that so many times when talking to people she didn't like. "..He was your first case. You were supposed to get him off, but instead you worked with the other side to get him sent down. You almost left the job because of him. I was going to tell you, but when I found all the out...I was ashamed."

Alex sighed. "Ashamed of what?"

"You said my father was vile. You said he was a reason we should still have the death penalty!"

Alex walked up to her. "That was no reflection on you. I just wish you would've told me sooner."

"What if you'd said you didn't want to come here anymore? I wanted so much to meet your mom, to see where you got your...perfectness from."

"What would that have had to do with meeting her? You know I love you for you."

Olivia gave a small shrug. "People stick by their families, Alex."

She nodded. "Yes, but...I-I wouldn't have left you here. I thought you...knew me better than that."

Olivia sighed, then gave a half smile, blushing a little again. "Well, you know me, not the most rational person when it comes to you."

She sighed, turning away. "I thought you trusted me. Do you want me to leave?"

Olivia reached out, her hand grasping for Alex's, pressing against the ring that now sat heavily there. "No! Alex, it's not you that I don't trust it's…me. It's society. It's everything else. You're the only thing that keeps me okay."

Alex turned around, hugging her, but sighing heavily. "I...know, but I just wish you would've trusted me with that. I would've helped you. Because...because even back then, I..."

"You can help me now, can't you? You can always let me open another present?"

Alex smiled. "Yes, I can and I will," she kissed her gently. "Come on, let's go back out."

The next hour before lunch were spent quietly, everyone enjoying their presents, disappearing occasionally to call friends and wish them Merry Christmas.

Alex walked out from the kitchen with three steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "It's not late yet, but I figured, why not?"

Olivia, not used to such a spread, had eaten so much over lunch, that the sight of the large mug made her groan from her position, lying on the sofa, but she still accepted it and sipped at it eagerly.

Alex smiled. "Gee, don't look so excited," she said sarcastically.

Olivia licked the line of foam from her top lip and then gave an appreciative burp, before remembering she wasn't in the squad room and Alex's mother was in the room, and looked horrified.

Alex grinned. "She's lived with me. I was like that when I was ten, so don't freak out."

"But thankfully, Alex grew out of it and got some manners." Sandra had a twinkle in her eye, but Olivia just groaned and hid her face.

Alex wrapped an arm around her. "She works with four men all day, Mom. Things like that are bound to rub off on her."

"I'll try not t-" Before Olivia could finish, Sandra gave a very lady-like burp.

Alex laughed. "I love you two!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14 & DaniiButNotBeck

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	7. Close to the Heart

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 7: Close to the Heart**

That night, after carrying the majority of the presents to their room, Olivia was getting ready for bed, while Alex was already there passing the unopened small box Olivia had stuffed into her pocket earlier, between her hands wondering what could be inside. Olivia had already given her an engagement ring. What else was there to give? "If you don't hurry up, I'm opening this box without you!"

Olivia slid into bed next to her, a grin on her face as she dropped a kiss to her lips. "Ooh, I love it when you get grumpy."

Alex turned on her side, wrapping an arm around her, setting the box on her chest. "Can I open it now?"

"No." Olivia placed a hand over the box.

She pouted. "Why?" she whined. "You opened all of yours!"

"I want to open it for you."

Alex nodded, rolling onto her stomach. "Okay."

Olivia shook her head, sitting up and turning her over as she straddled her thighs. "Close your eyes."

She sighed, doing as was asked.

A few moments later, she felt something cold on her chest, slithering around her neck.

"Please tell me it's not something that can kill me, like a Python."

Olivia smiled, fastening the chain, then sat back a little. "You can open now."

Alex opened her eyes and looked down. Hanging from a gold chain was a mini shield with Olivia's badge number on it. She sat up. "I love it, but what's it for?"

"To make sure everyone in the squad knows not to mess with you."

She raised a brow. "Just the squad or in my area too?"

"Well, I'm pretty well known. Don't know if you've noticed."

Alex smiled, wrapping her arms around her. "Yeah...I might've noticed. But Liv, I won't ever let her sway me. I love you too much!"

"..I know." Olivia smiled back.

"I kinda feel bad now though..."

"Why?" Olivia's hands began tugging at Alex's top, pulling it higher.

"Well...you got me the ring and now this, not to mention have my mother here and...I didn't get you anything like that."

"Yes you did. You got me love, peace, good…no, GREAT sex...A beautiful person to wake up to every morning…what more do I need?"

Alex smiled again. "Nothing I guess. I could take you to pick out a ring if you wanted, when we get back."

"Or I could just wear you on my finger." Olivia gave a cheeky smile.

"Wouldn't that be...indecent?"

Olivia cocked her head, her hips beginning to roll, her fingers beginning to caress the lower part of Alex's abdomen. "Probably, but I don't mind if you don't."

She smirked. "Well, you'd have to be underneath me, so I could sit on you...or is that too much? I'll let you wear me that way."

"We'll just have to try out a few ways and just see how well you fit." Olivia smiled back.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14 & DaniiButNotBeck

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	8. Houseful

Outpour

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 8: Houseful**

Sandra had left the day after boxing day, due back at work, leaving Alex and Olivia alone once more.

They spent hours in bed together, and despite the cool temperatures, Olivia had taken to walking around the cabin in very few, if any, items of clothing, much to Alex's delight. Alex was lying back on the couch, reading a book, enjoying the warmth from the fire and the smell of Olivia on her top, waiting for her to get back from the shops with more food, when there was a knock on the door.

Alex, flipping her book upside down and wrapping the blanket securely around her walked over. "Who is it?"

There was no reply, just another, louder knock.

She opened the door.

Kathy stood there, youngest child in her arms, Kathleen pushing past Alex with a bag and giving her a glare. "Where's my room?"

Before Alex could reply, Kathy gave a sigh. "I told you to help me in with the other bags. Alex, would you mind holding the baby while we get everything?"

Alex still had no time to reply as he was pushed into her arms, and both females disappeared into the snow.

Alex stepped away from the door and sat on the couch where it was warmer, unzipping the child's jacket.

He looked intently at her, then decided she was ok and gave her a smile before sliding from her lap to have a look around. One by one, the rest of Elliot's family came through the door, laden down with bags.

"Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but...why are you here? Did we overbook or something?" Alex asked.

Kathy stopped in her tracks, looked shocked and then looked angry. "He told me he'd book a holiday for us. I've been telling him to book one for months. He said he had, said we were sharing with you guys. Said he'd meet us here. I'll going to kill him!"

She waved her off, taking off Eli's beanie and gloves. "Not in front of the kids. You'll set a bad example. But...there are more than enough rooms, except Olivia and I have the main suite. Gee, I wonder if she knows about this..."

"Know about what?" Olivia stopped in the doorway, almost getting knocked back into the snow by all the children.

Alex walked over, Eli still in her arms. "About Elliot and his family staying with us. You sure didn't tell me."

Olivia paled for a moment, then spoke really quickly, "He-sent-me-a-text-last-night- I-didn't-think-you'd-mind. LOVE-YOU!" With that, she disappeared outside with the children for a snowball fight.

Kathy rolled her eyes. "Sorry. Really. You'll get used to those two keeping secrets."

Alex sighed. "Yeah, I already have. Here, take him and we'll sort out the bedrooms. I think there are 5, counting the one we're in."

Kathy kept apologizing and Eli kept smiling at Alex, waving at her every time she looked at him.

Alex turned, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, really. I've never been happier," she said, letting the diamond catch a ray of sunshine, in the hope that Kathy would see it and she wouldn't have to outright say anything.

Kathy gasped, grabbing Alex's hand and staring at it silently for a moment before pulling her to her for a hug.

She smiled. "Thanks. As another present, she invited my mother for Christmas. It was a really good Christmas. Okay, who's going to want separate rooms? Olivia and I are way at the one end of the hall."

"I stay with you!" Eli pointed at Alex, grinning.

Alex smiled, pretending to bite his finger, but kissing him instead. "I think you should sleep with Mommy and Daddy, but I'll be here."

* * *

When Elliot appeared that evening, looking worried, his hands were full of gifts for everyone.

Alex stood up, grabbing half of the gifts and placing them under the tree, waving it off. "Don't worry. I've had a lot of surprises this week. All of them good," she said, sitting back beside Olivia.

Olivia was asleep, exhausted from being up most of the night with Alex and then playing with the kids most of the day and nestled back into Alex.

Alex rubbed her back, under the nightshirt, sighing with content. A few doors down, she heard Kathy trying to lull Eli back to sleep. "This day's sure been interesting," she whispered.

Elliot sat down near the fire. "So has she uh...asked you anything important yet?"

"Oh, I don't know. You tell me," Alex said, flashing the ring in the fire's glow.

Elliot smiled. "Congratulations. She had to work hard for that."

She smiled. "Thank you." They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the peace and quiet after the havoc of the kids. "Did Olivia ever tell you...she found out who her father is?"

Elliot visibly stiffened. "What? When?"

"A while ago. I sent him to jail. Apparently, it was the first case I worked. When she told me she'd known all this time, at first I was...well hurt, you know how sensitive she is about it," Alex said, tracing Olivia's jaw lightly with her forefinger.

"What's his name?" Elliot rose to his feet.

"Elliot...don't. Don't bother. He's locked up. And if she knows I told you... Anyway, I don't know his name. Don't worry about it. I'm sure that's why she hasn't told you, doesn't want you to fly off."

"Doesn't want me to fly off?! He deserves everything he gets, he-'" Elliot stopped when Olivia stirred.

Alex sighed. "Just sit down. I know that, but, by all accounts, my life...was worse. Please don't. And don't say I told you."

Olivia sat up sleepily, yawning. "What are you two looking so serious about?"

Alex laughed a bit, slightly nervous. "Oh nothing, just how much Eli wanted to stay with us tonight. Kathy only just laid him down now."

It was the way Alex laughed more than anything else that alerted Olivia that something was wrong, but she let it go. "Well, are we going to play that horrible adult board game we found in the bedroom or what?"

"What? You didn't tell me about this? And I will not subject myself to having Elliot see it, thank you very much!" Alex said, crossing her arms. "He has enough to fuel his fantasies for a lifetime with his wife."

Olivia smiled. "Not that sort of game, Alexandra."

"Then what, Olivia?"

"It's 13 years +, that sort of adult game."

Alex nodded. "Okay. What is it? How do we play?"

Olivia turned to look at Elliot. "Have I mentioned that every time I've ever played a game with her, she reads the instructions thoroughly, and then can argue for hours if you do something she thinks isn't in the rules? I'll go and get the box." She pushed herself up and left the room.

"She's right. I can, so no shortcuts," she said with a smile.

Olivia returned a few moments later, Kathy in tow, and threw the instructions at Alex.

"Gee thanks," she said sarcastically, "see if I curl up against you tonight," she said, readjusting her glasses.

The others, not caring too much about the rules, began playing, but Alex soon stopped them and made the start again. Half an hour later, she and Kathy were at logger-heads, Alex saying Kathy had cheated, Kathy saying she hadn't.

"I actually read the rules and you can't do that!"

"It's a GAME, Alex! It doesn't matter! And I think you'll find that I can."

Elliot glanced at Olivia and she shrugged, not willing to get involved, instead sipping her drink.

"You know, it'd be nice if you'd back me up on this!" she told Olivia.

Elliot looked smug, but the look quickly disappeared when Kathy told him the same thing. He took the rules from Alex and began reading through them, hiding his face.

Alex sighed, sitting back and taking a sip of her drink. "We could always do something else, I guess."

"Why, because you're not winning?" Olivia joked, but knew immediately it had been the wrong thing to say.

"No! Olivia, no! Because you...you should've...told me earlier...about the... I just, I need to be in bed. Sorry." And she went upstairs.

They were all silent for a moment before Olivia gave an awkward smile. "Sorry, she really is a sore loser at games. I guess it's time to call it a night." She stood.

Elliot stood. "Liv...wait."

She turned to look at him.

He wanted to say he was sure of exactly what was bothering her, ask her why she hadn't told him, but it was Olivia's to tell. "Just...congratulations on your engagement." He smiled cheekily. "You two deserve it."

Olivia nodded, not returning the smile, having a feeling he knew something. Silently, she turned and walked upstairs, knocking softly on their bedroom door before walking in.

Alex had just slid into bed, scooting to the far end. "Didn't feel like doing anything else?"

Olivia shut the door and rested on it. "...Alex..."

She rolled over and faced her. "Yeah?" she asked, laying her glasses on the nightstand.

"…I love you."

She sighed. "Yeah...I love you too."

"My father...my father is bigger than you and I, Alex. He's been a thought. He's been a ...fear of mine my whole life. It was no reflection on you or our relationship that I didn't tell you as soon as I found out. It was a reflection on how strong my feelings for you are that I told you at all."

Alex nodded. "I know that. It took a lot of guts. But...you shouldn't have to be afraid to tell me anything." A thought crossed her mind as he sat up. "A fear? Of what? You're not him, Olivia."

"Aren't I?"

Alex shook her head, patting the spot beside her in bed. "No. You love, you give...you've devoted your job to helping people cope with anything. If anything, it's the opposite. How do you think you are?"

Olivia stayed where she was. "I don't know. I've never met him. I could be exactly like him. But…you've met him. You might see the similarities."

Alex got out of bed and walked over. "When I did, I didn't even know who he really was. I see thousands of people per year, lock up hundreds, just like you do. There's absolutely no possibility I would be able to compare you two from memory. What's more, now that I know, why would I want to?"

"In case you do see something?"

"Well, I haven't yet. You're not like him, or the scum I prosecute and," she placed her hands on Olivia's shoulders, "I don't believe you ever will be. You know what's right and wrong. You have to trust me. I know people like that when I see them and you're never going to be one of them, Liv."

Olivia let out a long breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding and rested against her. "…You told Elliot, didn't you?"

"Yes. You tell each other almost everything, so...I thought you would've told him." She let go and turned away.

Olivia reached out, capturing Alex's hand and locking their fingers. "Not everything, though. Not as much as I tell my perfect fiancée."

Alex froze, surprised that she hadn't argued. "You mean...you're not upset?"

"You know I can't argue with you when you're not wearing trousers."

She looked down, then looked back at her, half smiling. "Oh, yeah...oops."

There was a quiet knock on the door and a moment later Eli's head appeared. "I here!"

Alex dropped to her knees and picked him up. "Hey, little guy! What are you doing in here?"

"Sleepover!"

"What does Daddy say?"

He gave a cheeky smile and hid his face.

Alex put him down for a minute, sliding her sweats back on, then picked him up again. "Maybe Auntie Liv should go check. I really think you should be with Mommy and Daddy tonight. It's really late."

"You can be my mommy." He smiled at her as Olivia left the room.

Alex walked around, carrying him, trying to send him back to sleep. "But I'm not your mommy. I'm not anybody's Mommy."

"You should be. You're pretty." He gave her another happy smile.

A moment later, Kathy entered the room, apologetically, taking him from Alex.

Alex smiled, kissing his forehead. "I figured he'd find me sooner or later. And, apparently, he thinks I'm pretty enough to..." The thought hadn't really occurred to her. She and Olivia weren't married yet and they worked such long hours.

Kathy looked expectantly at her as Olivia flopped on the bed, yawning.

She cleared her throat. "...Does he tell everyone he thinks they're pretty enough to be somebody's mommy?"

Olivia gave a soft laugh as Kathy replied, "He rarely talks to anyone else but Kathleen and I."

She smiled. "Hmmm, interesting."

When Kathy shut the door, Olivia said Alex's name in a warning tone. "Don't get any ideas."

She shook her head. "I'm not. Don't worry." She slid back into bed.

"Good. Because I don't want children."

She frowned, furrowing her brows. "...Never, not ever?"

"You've seen what I'm like when I think I have to share you."

Alex turned over. "Yeah..."

"And imagine what I'd be like if there was a mini you running around. I'd have to arrest everyone."

"...But what if I wanted them? Someday?"

Olivia sighed and didn't reply.

Alex scooted to the edge, thinking. She knew Olivia was afraid a 'gene' would be passed on, but they could teach the child to fight it, couldn't they? It was possible. "It would be nice. Ours," she whispered before falling asleep.

Olivia moved closer and dropped a kiss to Alex's cheek, resting there for a moment before whispering. "You know I'd do anything for you."

She murmured in her sleep, turning toward her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14, DaniiButNotBeck & PreciousThings

Please read and review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


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